Shane J. Long is an artist and savant. Raised by a radical sect of matriarchal butchers in rural south dakota, his earliest artistic efforts were an attempt to depict the rigors of farm life as a mildly autistic synesthete.

Formally trained at the Pinewoods Nugget Academy, Shane has been perfecting his craft for over 17 months.

Most of his later work is influenced by the day-in, day-out struggles of the everyday working man, as depicted most accurately (in his opinion) by Ray Liota in Good Fellas.

His proudest achievements include an unauthorized mural near Safeco Field highlighting the increasing divide between the size of hotdogs and the size of buns, a masterwork in crayon and tempera paint of his adopted mothers preparing pigs for slaughter, and perhaps his most moving work, "l'éleveur nu.", a fascinating exploration of man's relationship with non-physical interactive expression.

He is currently tenured at University of Phoenix Online as the chair of the Faith and Humanities department, which he  promises to "Bring into the 22nd century".